PRESIDENT of the United States Donald Trump has expressed disappointment after his inaugural trip to Japan failed to live up to the expectations he had of the country, most of which came from the 1993 action thriller ‘Rising Sun’ starring Wesley Snipes and Sean Connery.
“Have you ever seen that movie? Amazing movie. Really confusing, but great action,” said Trump at a press conference, while Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe looked around the room with tears in his eyes.
“There’s this great scene,” Trump continued, “a really great scene where they go to this restaurant where they have all these girls, all these beautiful girls lying around naked, and there’s businessmen eating sushi off of the naked women. Amazing. And the more sushi these guys eat, okay, the nakeder these girls get. And I have to admit, I thought that perhaps you guys might put on a spread like that for me. But I guess not. But whatever, it’s no big deal”.
PM Abe swiftly moved the topic of conversation to more pressing matters, such as the continuing fear of military action by the US against North Korea.
“No, okay, yeah we’ll talk about Korea in a minute, but I really don’t think you heard what I said about these sushi girls,” interrupted Trump, bringing up a screenshot of the scene on his phone.
“See, she’s not wearing anything. No clothes, at all. And you just eat the sushi right off her. And you guys gave me what, some banquet or something? I guess that’s just how you treat a visiting president such as myself. I would have thought you’d want to give me a more traditional Japanese meal like the one in the movie, but I guess the producers of Rising Sun just cared more about tradition than you guys. Okay, whatever”.
Trump went on to discuss the matter for the remainder of the press conference, while admitting that he doesn’t even really like sushi all that much.