SOME couples prefer to have reasoned discussions and debates in the private setting of the home they share, while others are content with drawing in as many witnesses to their blazing rows as is humanly possible.
However, what many couples don’t realise is they often select a poor location for their row, with little chance of members of the public eavesdropping and filming the dispute, meaning it may never go viral. WWN is on hand to provide 5 solid options for a very public falling out and screaming match:
Cliffs of Moher
A bracing wind against your face as you’re forced to shout even louder than normal just to be heard by your pissed off partner, all while Chinese tourists film everything? Is there a more epic and public space to hash things out with your stubborn other half than at one of Ireland’s most visited attractions? We think not, and if things take a turn for the irreparable you can always push them off the edge.
The narrower thoroughfare of Grafton Street means it beats out O’Connell St for density of people who can bear witness to you calling your other half a waste of sperm. The tall buildings also allow for the sound of your shouting and screaming to reverberate around Grafton St and carry great distances, meaning that regardless of where you are on the busy shopping street plenty of people will hear you discuss the most intimate aspects of your relationship.
The Late Late Show audience
Positioning yourself near the audience microphone that picks up the one instance of laughter over the course of the 9-hour show, the audience of the Late Late Show is an ideal place to embarrass and shame yourself as a couple. Aggressive and fed up ‘shout-whispers’ of “I only slept with her because she does things you never do” will be picked up on top of line, state of the art sound equipment, meaning you could expose yourselves to roughly 500,000 witnesses in the form of the viewing public at home.
Inside the Same Maguire trophy on All Ireland Final day
“Well, jokes on you, the kids aren’t even yours” – uttering such relationship ending phrases can have no public a place than inside the Sam Maguire trophy as Dublin’s Stephen Cluxton raises it above his head. How you place yourself and your dickhead of a partner who you’ve had it up to here with in the trophy is not our problem, but needless to say if you manage it you will be on the receiving end of gasps and countless people trying to make it look like they’re totally not staring at you having a public argument.
On stage at the Oscars
If you live for airing your dirty laundry in public, and don’t care one bit about who can hear you aggressively shout at one another than barging on stage during Meryl Streep’s acceptance speech for her 48th Oscar is just the ticket you need. Concerned about the music playing you off stage as you reveal in graphic detail just how much you hate each other? Don’t worry, your bickering is up to the task of drowning out the orchestra.