5 Examples Of Fine Upstanding GAA Banter
BY now we’re all familiar with the banteriffic actions of an intermediate hurling team from Kilkenny, whose unique and amusing celebrations following their county championship win is everything that is great about the fun side of our national game.
Scenes of women, believed to be hired strippers, performing sex acts on at least one of the players, had us cracking up and not bothering to ask any of the tough questions you should expect from your sport journalists and publications.
But before you go criticising, we’re not here to play the moral police, that’s the job of GAA supporters when talking about amoral sports, such as soccer.
A similar incident which happened at a semi-professional English football club is, however, yet another example of the moral decay at the centre of the soulless British sport that has no sense of decency or community.
The mighty craic on display in Kilkenny got us thinking about five other examples of upstanding GAA banter that keeps us in stitches to this day:
1) Diarmuid Connolly fracturing someone’s eye socket in an unprovoked attack
Hard to believe this chapter in the great big book of bantz happened 5 years ago, but it still rates highly on the craic-o-meter. Is there anything more lol-inducing than punching someone outside a pub for no discernable reason.
Not to be confused with the disgusting and caveman like behaviour of English soccer hooligan Wayne Rooney, who recently was caught drinking driving 0/5 banters for him.
2) Failed drug tests
Class. Could you imagine someone knocking in a point from 80 yards out, well, that’s what a few players who have tested positive for banned substances had planned. Vintage Junior B madness there.
Former Man United Rio Ferdinand failing to show up for a drugs test is a 0/5 pillars of the community.
3) Any of the most recent 500 mass brawls
Some foolish people just can’t quite get their head around letting off some steam, but for those of us that can; BANTER! There’s nothing quite like the craic had in the middle of a brawl on the field of play, whether you’re a sub who runs 40 yards just to kick someone in the base of their spine or you’re just pinning someone on the ground and milling them in the face with endless punches.
You will scarcely laugh as much as when involved in one of these. Remember these halcyon days of your banter career, you’ll miss them when they’re gone. Or if you still struggle to control your temper you can always join in from the crowd anyway, you wouldn’t be the first. #LoveOfTheGame
Scumbag Uruguay soccer forward Luis Suarez has been likened to an animal, for his biting antics on the pitch, and yes, he does belong in a cage. -1/5 great young lads.
4) Embezzlement
Ah c’mon, a nod and a wink here and there, we’ve all taken a fiver extra for mileage we shouldn’t but you can’t blame anyone. And some full time mad bastards have taken that to the extreme. Like the Waterford GAA official who stole €142,000 from ticket sales before being found dead in 2008.
Have you seen the what Neymar’s earning at PSG? 0/5 for the love of your county.
5) The lads
The Kilkenny hurling messers have actually sneaked into the top 5 here, such are the bantering heights they’ve reached. Lol, the women weren’t even aware they were being filmed which is actually hilarious when you think about it… we fairly certain it is anyway. And it couldn’t have come at a better time for the GAA, as the media seems to already be moving on from the fact a former volunteer was just sentenced to 2.5 years in prison for sexual offences against a teenage girl. 5/5 just in times.