EU Leaders Spend Day Throwing Darts At Picture Of Theresa May

WHAT was meant to be a bilateral meeting between France and Ireland’s leaders has turned into a raucous meeting of EU leaders minus embattled British PM Theresa May.

“Theresa’s only a geezer,” German Chancellor Angela Merkel was heard bellowing in a terrible cockney accent as she reigned darts down on a dartboard which had a picture of May stuck to it.

The boisterous mood comes after EU leaders, including Jean Claude Juncker, feel they have gained a permanent upper hand in negotiations with the feckless British government, highlighted by meetings held with the Labour party and its leader Jeremy Corbyn which heaped further embarrassment on May.

“Ah, eh, I dunno guys. I kinda like her, and I need to be, eh, on good terms what with the border,” a reluctant Taoiseach Leo Varadkar said to fellow EU leaders as they jostled him into place and placed darts in his hands.

Feeling the need to impress his older, cooler EU peers, Varadkar threw one dart which landed right in the middle of the picture of May, sparking off loud cheers. This led Varadkar to begin wildly throwing darts in excitement before being restrained by President Macron and others as one of the Irish leader’s enthusiastic throws landed in a nearby painting of Napoleon.

The locker room atmosphere in Paris sits in stark contrast to the outward show put on by EU leaders who have urged Britain’s government to step up their cooperation in negotiations.