HAVING spent the last number of years shocking and terrifying the women of Ireland with his archaic and vitriolic comments on the subject of women’s bodily autonomy and the 8th amendment, Senator Ronan Mullen has decided that he can’t do any better than to dress up as himself this Halloween.
Most recently, the Galway-born senator made the horrific statement that Savita Halappanavar ‘wouldn’t have been in the hospital because she wouldn’t have been pregnant’ if there had been access to legal abortion in Ireland, cementing his reputation as one of the most monstrous figures in the history of the State and therefore his only real option when it comes to Halloween.
“In Ireland we have a great term for masks; false faces.” said a source close to Senator Mullen.
“But when it comes to Ronan, there’s no falseness whatsoever. He really is that cruel, mean-spirited and narrow minded. It’s not an act, it’s not a play for votes, it sure as fuck isn’t a popularity thing… he just looks at women as second-class beings who will do as they’re told by the people in charge. So Halloween suits him down to the ground, he can just go around dressed as himself, with that same stupid fucking Wallace and Gromit look on his face, and be the scariest thing out there”.
Rather than limit his scary activity to Halloween, Mullen will continue to put a chill down the spines of women in Ireland for the remainder of his term in the Seanad.