Man Left With No Internet Discovers Son He Never Knew He Had

ALTHOUGH Storm Ophelia brought ruin and tragedy to many parts of the country yesterday, one Waterford man had an uplifting, emotional experience after discovering that he had a three-year-old son that he’d never met.

Declan Brennan, 36, noticed the child in his Dungarvan home after the internet and electricity services were cut off in the early hours of the storm, when he found himself wandering around with no access to WiFi.

Brennan was stunned when his wife explained that she had given birth to the boy, named James, some three years ago, and that Declan had been present for the conception, pregnancy, birth, and christening of the child, but hadn’t noticed any of it due to having his head stuck in his phone, checking the same five websites over and over again.

“Holy shit, there was a kid living in the house this whole time?” said Brennan, a father of one now apparently.

“I sorta remember Helen going into hospital a few years ago, but sure I had the internet at the time and was fierce distracted by YouTube videos of lads falling on their faces. It was only yesterday when the storm knocked out the electricity and the phone lines that I found myself with nothing to watch or read, and there was this little man toddling around. I’m over the moon!”

With his home now re-connected to the internet, Brennan has gone right back to ignoring his son and should have forgotten all about him by noon tomorrow.