“At first I thought it was a boring old food package, but then I realised it was two whole rolls of premium branded, extra-thick paper towel, just like they have in the United States!” recalls Leonidas Hernandez, a 27-year-old father of three who lost everything he owned in Hurricane Maria.
President Trump arrived in Puerto Rico on Tuesday as the territory struggled to recover from the devastation caused by the weather system, which has left nearly all the island without power and most residents without water nearly two weeks later.
“The first thing I did was to ration the paper, carefully tearing off each sheet and marking each one to the day of the week,” Mr. Hernandez explained.
“Today’s sheet will be shared as a diaper between my two youngest twins. If only their mother was still alive to see this. She would have been so proud that we were one of the lucky few to get free paper towels from the US president himself – they’re so versatile too!” he said, now clutching a broken picture frame containing an image of his wife who died last week from contaminated drinking water.
While visiting the American territory, Mr. Trump stopped at Cavalry Chapel in San Juan to address survivors and to throw out the paper towels in front of the world media.
“They make great pillows and really soak up my tears at night when I cry myself asleep,” said another lucky recipient of the recycled kitchen paper, “my kitchen counter is absolutely spotless now, it’s just a shame the rest of my house was blown two blocks down the street”.
Before heading off to a prearranged round of golf on the island, Mr Trump paused momentarily to take a selfie with a local official, stating “You know what? You Mexicans aren’t all that bad,” before then handing them an invoice for the paper towels.