TAOISEACH Leo Varadkar is due to meet British Prime Minister Theresa May in London today to discuss some of the best places in the city for photo opportunities, before finally getting a chance to dance around Number 10 like Hugh Grant in the film Love Actually.
The politicians are expected to make several press appearances today in a bid to look busy and important, with both leaders confirming each other’s stances on various things, including Brexit, Northern Ireland and whatever else will keep everyone off their backs for the time being.
“The visit will contain several video clips of Mr. Varadkar walking and talking with British politicians while making unnatural hand gestures, like he’s in control and explaining something important,” a government press spokesperson explains, “after that we’ll probably head over to Buckingham Palace and see if we can get a selfie with the Queen – Leo has really cool Queen socks he want’s to unveil. It will be gas”.
The Taoiseach is then expected to appear at the Rugby World Cup bid in London, polishing off yet another successful morning of press opportunities with his British partners.
“Brian O’Driscoll will be there so that will be a nice image for the papers,” added the press spokesperson, before sending a group text to London’s paparazzi about where they’ll be next, “we’ll probably go for a jog then in Hyde Park at lunch with whoever’s fit and famous enough to keep up with our Leo.
“He’s so healthy, so he is”.