Council Unsure Why They Placed Traffic Cones Here 9 Years Ago

A LARGE scale investigation involving thousands of personnel has failed to uncover the reasoning behind Waterford council’s decision to place a traffic cone on one of the city’s roads some 9 years ago, WWN understands.

Several independent inquiries costing hundreds of thousands of euro have seen cone placement experts flown in from America, Germany, Sweden and South Africa, however, sources close to the matter have told WWN there is still no definitive answer.

“What we know is that this cone’s location dates back to a decision made in 2008, while we still don’t know the resoning behind it as all records pertaining to the decision have mysteriously disappeared, we can’t risk moving it as we’re sure there’s a good reason it’s there for in the first place,” explained council official Martin Shroud, who confirmed the cone, awkwardly placed in an area that a car could easily be parked in, will remain in place.

If the cone stays in its current location for another year it can be reclassified as a structure of historical significance in Waterford and would be eligible to be named a UNESCO World Heritage Site.

“Why can’t they just move it,” queried Tommy Dowdall, a child of 8, so young that he has only known a life with the cone in its current place.

“I understand people’s concerns,” added Mr. Shroud, “we’re equally worried at how discoloured the cone has become from being out in the sun for 9 years, and some one’s head will roll for this neglect but if we were to replace it that would require a sub-committee to be set up while a concurrent inquiry investigates everything”.

Local legend has it that the cone mysteriously moves from its place at 9am when a council official’s car is parked in its place before the cone mysteriously returns to the location at around 4.30pm every day.