Ploughing Day 2: This Shit Just Got Real

“YOU think you’ve seen ploughing? Bitch, you’ve seen nothing yet,” said one farmer at the start of day 2 of the 2017 Ploughing Championships, slapping himself in the face to psych himself up for an intense day of ploughing competition.

“This is what sorts the ploughing men from the ploughing boys. If you can’t stand the muck, stay the fuck out of the field”.

The championships, which started off as a spirited but friendly test of ploughing skill yesterday, has escalated into a full-blown ploughing war with farmers from all across Europe engaging in a bitterly contested battle to see just who can plough the ploughiest plough.

As the challenge intensifies, WWN caught up with Waterford’s own Chris ‘The Furrow’ Fallon to get a sense of what it takes to compete at this level.

“Day 2 baby, this is where the shit gets real,” said The Furrow, sinking energy drinks as he walked to his John Deere.

“Day 1, that’s for the tourists and the school trips and the fair-weather fans. Day 2, you’re either here to win or you’re here to get beaten. This is the big field, baby. This is where the men plough. You want to have fun? Go the fuck back home to your two acres in Longford, bitch”.

The intense vibe around the championship has spread to the surrounding stalls and shows, with Declan Nerney performing a 50-minute set containing nothing but Metallica songs in one of the band tents.