21 March – 20 April
You spend 13 hours loudly trying to suck a popcorn kernel out of your teeth.
21 April – 21 May
You consider switching from Team Taylor to Team Katy.
May 21 – June 20
Do you have your name down? Ah, you better get your name down, quick.
June 21 – July 22
Probably time to crack into that New Years resolution, isn’t it?
July 23 – August 22
Got a hot take on the Halawa case? Get yourself to Twitter!
August 23 – September 22
VIRGO FOR SAM 2018
September 23 – October 22
You have your windows replaced with TVs and play something sunny on each one.
October 23 – November 21
You gave a euro to a homeless person at the weekend, and you’re alarmed to see him still on the street today. Has he spent it all already?
November 22 – December 21
A dog adopts you.
December 22 – January 19
Your diet improves after you place a ban on eating anything that comes in a box, a bag, or a tray.
January 20 – February 18
Your biker gang still consists of just you.
February 19 – March 20
We’re going down the shop, do you want anything?