THE entire Mayo senior GAA team have spent the day on the slopes of Croagh Patrick undergoing an unorthodox but intensely gruelling training process ahead of Sunday’s All Ireland Final against Dublin.
While the Dublin panel have taken to a high-tech, multi-million euro facility packed with the greatest sports equipment that money can buy, the plucky Mayo squad have been building their strength and stamina by chopping logs, lugging rocks up and down the slope, and doing one-arm press-ups in a barn.
The fitness of the Mayo players has benefitted from an hour long run where they avoided the prying eyes of a number of Dublin spies who were chasing them in a Skoda, while manoeuvrability has been improved by chasing a number of chickens around in a coup.
With their hearts on fire, the Mayo players are confident that their unusual training methods will help them win out over the steely robotic nature of the seemingly unbeatable Dublin supermen.
“If we can change, then everyone can change,” said a spokesperson for the Mayo squad, watching two players cut down a tree at the base of the mountain.
“Now if you’ll excuse us, the whole squad has to run up the side of Croagh Patrick here and scream ‘DUBLINNNNNNN’ at the top of their voice. We have a helicopter coming to video”.
Meanwhile a source close to the Dublin squad has confirmed that the team feel no remorse for what might happen when they clash with Mayo on Sunday.
“If they die, they die,” one squad member stated coldly.