IT IS tough out there for single women these days. While there may be plenty of options, one area in which there is a complete lack of choice when it comes to a sexual partner is the witty repartee during sex itself.
“I’ve had 15, 16 partners so far and every single one of them seemed pretty set on me calling them ‘Daddy’ during sex and eh, well, how about you fuck off,” explained local Waterford woman, Norah O’Shea, who is just one of the countless women sick to the teeth of being asked to partake in an elaborate role play that would give a psychologist hours of material.
A high percentage of single men, believed to be in the region of ‘all of them’, have expressed a desire for partners to call them Daddy. However, in a survey conducted by this fine publication, when asked for their motivations behind such requests 100% of respondents shrugged their shoulders awkwardly and said ‘I dunno’.
WWN examines some steps that can be taken to finding that one guy who won’t ask you to call him ‘Daddy’ during sex.
1) Have you considered celibacy?
Yeah, sorry, the prognosis is not good.
2) Switching teams
Fellow women folk are roughly 20% less likely to scream ‘call me Daddy’ while contorting their face as part of some sort of sexual pleasure stroke. Could this be something to consider?
3) A lad called Ian
Don’t ask us why, but we’re just not seeing an Ian as the type to pull the old ‘call me Daddy’ routine. Hey, correct us if we’re wrong, but we have a good feeling about Ians.
4) Stop waiting until 3.30am to pair off with someone
We’ve scanned the Nation’s bars, club and alleys around this time, for research purposes of course, and it ain’t pretty. Optimum non-Daddy requesting men pick up is between 11pm and 1am.