Mayo GAA Fans Now On 1,378th Decade Of Rosary

THE entire county of Mayo has just entered their 1,378th decade of the rosary ahead of the All-Ireland Senior Football final on Sunday the 17th of September, in a bid to break the decades-old curse that has left the Mayo GAA team Sam-less for over 5 decades.

Working in shifts around the clock, the 130,000 or so residents of Mayo have been praying since Saturday afternoon and are averaging about 20 decades of the rosary an hour, with Red Bull being distributed to make sure each Hail Mary is crisp and clean.

In addition to the marathon praying session, each and every Child Of Prague in the county has been left outside under a bush, and fresh shipments of penny candles are being delivered to churches every day.

“There’s a steady murmur of prayer throughout the county, with people tagging in for night shifts at half ten, before the next shift starts at 9 in the morning,” said one Ballina resident, who clocked 5,000 Hail Mary’s all by himself.

“Our boys are going out against Dublin next Sunday, and we have every faith in them… but a few prayers aren’t going to do any harm, right? We’re clocking a serious amount of prayers in a short time, each decade we get faster and faster without losing clarity. Our Lady will see us right for a victory next week, if only to shut us up”.

With Dublin closing in on a third consecutive All-Ireland, the rest of the Nation has kindly agreed to help Mayo out with a few decades here and there if they need them.