Kinahan Cartel Down To Last Couple Of Billion After Latest Garda Seizure

THE CRIME cartel is said to be reeling after a garda seizure which has left the criminal enterprise with just several billions in cash and assets, WWN understands.

“They’re down to their last 17 yachts, I’m no fan of men who make their money this way, but your heart goes out to them,” shared a source with knowledge of the gang.

The latest raid has seen gardaí seize €830,000 in cash and a car with a value of €50,000, leading government sources to suggest such a large seizure could free up members of the force to get back to more serious policing such as moving homeless people away from areas popular with tourists.

“While the gardaí are not getting anywhere close to the resources required to fight this scourge we call organised drug crime, our police officers have still managed to strike a blow against them. Sure, they can barely afford to buy a small African republic at this rate. Crime simply does not pay,” a government spokesperson confirmed.

Despite the overwhelming odds stacked against them, gardaí remain upbeat about the most recent seizure.

“We’re just another 22,457 raids away from reducing these men to putting their last remaining €100 million on the roulette table in an up market Monaco casino,” explained one spokesperson for An Garda Síochána, “they may have guns and no respect for human life, but don’t forget we’re armed with sticks and a whistle”.