ARE you one of the 55,000 people set to descend on Stradbally this weekend? Have you already begun flooding social media with an overwhelming and unnecessary barrage of posts just to prove it?
Have you picked out your outfits? Have you got your €10 Lidl tent which is also a poncho, a pair of wellies and a crate of cans? Great. Couldn’t be happier for you.
However, WWN is on hand to show you exactly how to attend Electric Picnic while shutting up about it and refraining from rubbing people’s faces in it:
Just shut the fuck up about it
Did you just see Elbow? Did you get so messed up you thought your hands were owls? Of course, by anyone’s standards that’s a class weekend, but those of us not going don’t need to hear about it. If you don’t share that selfie of you with an overturned bin you mistook for a member of the Coronas it doesn’t matter, you still went to Electric Picnic. It still happened.
Were Duran Duran a steaming pile of shit? But the good kind of shit, that you can ironically dance to in that knowing kind of way that allows you to feel above it all? Genuinely glad it’s all going well, but 400 Snapchats in, we all sort of want to murder you, so shut up.
No, we’re not bitter, we’re not going
Aren’t you great with your three days of carefree fun with friends and some of the best music going. A real nice way to let the hair down and forget the stresses of everyday life, not thinking for a second that some of us are worked to the bone and the last thing we want to see is your smiling face riddled with unconfined joy and happiness. Oh great, there you are now, can in hand sitting at the campsite in a fold out chair and a novelty hat on your head. Fuck you.
You make us sick.