Government To House Homeless Families In Ikea

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SWEDISH furniture giants Ikea have agreed to a new scheme which will see several homeless families housed in the display showrooms of their flagship Ballymun branch, it has been revealed.

In total, 12 families of varying sizes will be accommodated in the luxurious roof-free mock apartments in the showrooms, which the government has proudly announced will be fully furnished with the latest and best Ikea furniture, as well as a generous number of empty DVD cases and a TV that doesn’t work.

The move will ease the number of families currently living in emergency accommodation, as well as silence the government’s vocal critics who say they’re not doing enough to help people who have lost their homes.

“People will be able to kick back on a Stocksünd sofa and relax from the hours of 10pm and 8am,” said a spokesperson for the department of social protection.

“Then, it’s just a quick walk to the restaurant for a delicious meatball breakfast, followed by meatballs for lunch and meatballs for dinner. Then back to your one-bedroom apartment with a real non-working toilet and a real non-working kitchen. You can keep whatever you want in the fridge, as long as you don’t need for it to stay cold. And then off to your Tarva bed for a sleep. What’s not to like?”

Families have been hesitant about the new scheme, but have admitted that it’s nice to see the government at least acknowledge the fact that there’s homeless people in Ireland.

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