Guide To Making Your Child A Viral Superstar

NOTHING says ‘I love my child’ more than when a parent shares a video on social media that goes viral worldwide, sending their oblivious toddler into a world of online fame. In fact, it pains us to think of all the poor children out there who have yet to experience the joy of a million YouTube hits.

Parents, don’t let your children miss out. Here’s a few tips to help you get the most social clout from your lil’ wonders:

Bring them to a slanted area

Hillsides, uneven gardens, really shitty playgrounds, these are all great surfaces for kids to fall down on, setting the stage for some adorable online content. Get your camera out as your toddler teeters their way across a bumpy stretch of footpath and catch the moment where they collapse into a hedge. That’s a ticket to the Ellen show, right there.

Film them singing their favourite song

Or indeed, any song. There is literally no wrong way to do this. Either the kid is amazing and their song touches the hearts of millions, or the kid is shit and we all get a good laugh at how cute they look as you force them to bash out a few verses of Let It Go. Remember how your mam used to make you sing in front of relatives? This is just like that, except instead of your aunts and uncles, it’s the whole world. Best of luck in that job interview in 20 years, kid.

Bring them with you to a march

How adorable will your three year-old look when they’re out marching at a protest rally, holding an adorable little sign bearing a heavily politicised slogan that they have no hope of comprehending? You can come up with a great caption for the pic, and it’ll get shared by both sides of the argument – the side you’re for will love it, and the side you’re against will hate you for dragging your child into the mix. Either way, you get the clicks baby, and that’s all that matters.