Weed Dealer No Fucking Idea What Strain It Is

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A COUNTY Waterford weed dealer has come out of the woodwork today to confirm, once and for all, that he has no fucking idea what strain he’s selling to people, and is now begging customers to stop asking.

Speaking from a wall in Lisduggan council estate, situated on the lower west side of the city, Martin Wallace said he couldn’t emphasize enough the importance of not asking him about the origin of his contraband, as it’s passed down from many other hands before it reaches his.

“Listen, yis hipster dopes, stop askin’ if its fuckin indica or fuckin sativa or wha’, cause I haven’t a bulls fuckin notion,” Wallace exclaimed, spitting into a pool of his own spit on the ground, “blue cheese me fuckin hole. Next cunt dat asks gets a fuckin slap in de tonsils. All I know is it’s green and weighs 3.5 grams and costs you 50 euro cash, or 60 on tic”.

Currently there are 779 known strains of cannabis, all with their own unique benefits and characteristics, a selling point the 24-year-old entrepreneur has seemingly overlooked.

“I bought an eighth off of Martin two weeks ago and he said it was ‘Faggots Haze’,” one customer told WWN, “but when I looked up the strain it wasn’t even on Leafy or anything. I think he made it up. Dealers need to up their strain game if they want to compete in the current market”.

In response to the allegation, Wallace went on to apologise.

“Oh, that’s a shame, I must have gotten me strains mixed up,” he said, “here, let me ring de wholesaler now and check with him.

“Does the guy have an invoice number der an’ I’ll get my secretary to run it tru de system?

“Nah? I didn’ tink so… now fuck off and ask me bollocks.”

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