“I Didn’t Mean It, Pops” Trump Apologises To Old Picture Of Father For Condemning KKK

SOURCES at the White House have confirmed that American President Donald Trump has been moping around its corridors with an old picture of his father, apologising to it for condemning violence at a white nationalist rally organised by Ku Klux Klan and neo-Nazi groups, who descended on Charlottesville, Virginia on Saturday to protest the removal of a Confederate statue.

Mr. Trump, whose father Fred Trump was arrested on Memorial Day 1927 for protesting with a Ku Klux Klan rally, could be heard sobbing uncontrollably at the photograph while pacing frantically up and down the White House.

“I didn’t mean it, Pops,” Trump was overheard saying, caressing the old black & white portrait with his tiny orange fingers, “no one understands us; they keep backing up the coloured folk and callin’ old junior a redneck,” he added, now spitting some chewing backie into a White House metal bin, “they gone and givin’ them rights too, pa’. Human rights! And now they want our voters’ blood”.

The White House has said Mr. Trump condemns white supremacist groups, after the President received backlash for what critics viewed as an equivocal response to a white nationalist protest that turned deadly. However, he did not personally directly denounce the actions of the neo-Nazis, skinheads, and members of the KKK, who later left a 32-year-old woman dead and 19 people injured, five critically, when one member ploughed a car into a crowd of people who were protesting against the white nationalist rally.

“You should have seen it, Pa, it’s just like those good old stories you used to tell me and the boys,” Trump was overheard by another source, now replying to an unknown source, “Lynching? No Pa, we can’t be doing them things no more. Not with all these snowflakes and their goddamn political correctness.

“We are still incarcerating them tho, Pa… we’re just using drugs as their crime.”