Finding The Perfect Home For Your Kids To Sell Off When You’re Dead

ARE you looking for that perfect property for your children to eventually sell when you’re dead? Do you want to leave something for them to fight over for several years before a court order grants them equal shares of the final sale? Great! We have just the article for you.

Choosing the right home for your children to fight over can be difficult, especially when your youngest child insists on still living with you until their mid 30s in the hopes that one day you’ll die and they will get first preference on the family home.

The first thing we would suggest is to tear up any will and testament you or your partner may have drafted up. If you do not have one, then great, you’re already on the right track to future family turmoil. Will’s can take the fun out of splitting up estates, so better leave that kind of headache up to your children and their team of solicitors. They deserve that much, at least.

What you really need is a home that you can put your own mark on; one with your own style and your own preferred layout. Nothing says ‘how much each will we get for this shithole’ than a property that has decades of work done to it by you and your partner. Thirty five years is a long time to be paying off a mortgage, so it’s essential to put your heart and soul into the house and give it that homely, sentimental feel for whatever stranger comes along and offers your children the money they’re looking for.

You need a home that can harbour lots of old memories, like an old tire swing hanging from the garden tree, or even an old oak door frame with your children’s height pencilled onto it, basically any memory that can be easily cut down or painted over in time for a quick sale.

Burying you two won’t come cheap, so make sure to build a granny flat extension in the shed for your later years, thus upping the price, but also allowing your middle aged children to argue in peace in the main living area over who’s getting what, and why the youngest child should not get a bigger share, despite looking after your incontinent ass for the past ten years.

The bottom line here is to pick a house that all your family can fall out over and one that can be easily sold to the next naive couple who believe in “leaving something for the kids”.