THE idea that humanity is having a direct, adverse effect on the climate of our planet has been dealt yet another blow by the current US presidential administration, with POTUS Donald Trump stating emphatically that the current emergence of a second Cold War wouldn’t be happening if there was such a thing as ‘Global Warming’.
The announcement comes as the Kremlin accused Trump of starting a ‘full scale trade war’ following the implementation of fresh sanctions on Russia, which were voted in by congress leading to Moscow expelling 755 officials from US embassies and consulates around the country.
“Congress pass bill without Trump signature. Trump is weak and impotent and not great leader,” reported one source close to the Kremlin,”we hear on news that retaliatory steps already being put in motion. Back and forth now between two countries, international unrest, very tense times. Much colder than old Cold War. Freezing, yes?”.
Taking the developments into consideration, Trump has managed to find a bright side to his now-strained relationships with Vladimir Putin, and has taken to social media to describe the new Cold War as ‘indisputable proof’ that climate change is a bunch of hippy nonsense.
“So, the world is heating up, eh? Then how do you explain a Cold War?” tweeted Trump, to a chorus of praise from his followers.
“This is GREAT NEWS for America. We can continue to dump as much carbon into the atmosphere as we like. It will be all offset by the frosty response we’re getting from Russia at the minute. Another great success for America! #MAGA”.
Vladimir Putin has yet to comment on what his aides are describing as ‘disappointment in an investment not paying off’, with reports from inside the Kremlin suggesting that Putin has spent the last few days looking through his video collection of a the tape labelled ‘Trump urine’.