21 March – 20 April
It is with great regret we inform you that it’s your turn to be White House head of communications.
21 April – 21 May
Your heartbreaking story of betrayal and assault earns you 100 pound from Take A Break magazine.
May 21 – June 20
Just like an old Nintendo cartridge, you work just fine after someone blows on you for a while.
June 21 – July 22
Your Facebook memory for 2011 today was pretty class. Shame it’s been downhill since.
July 23 – August 22
You eat an avocado and now you’re in debt for life.
August 23 – September 22
Stop asking people how their weekend was, it’s Tuesday.
September 23 – October 22
Look at you, with your ‘reading’. Who are you trying to impress? Take ninety selfies this minute.
October 23 – November 21
You go to Ikea. But it’s ok; you like Ikea. This is actually a fun trip for you. Good times.
November 22 – December 21
You see a bat. A real bat! You kinda thought they were something people made up.
December 22 – January 19
If the 10 year-old Chinese orphan that made your iPhone could see the state of it’s cracked screen now, he’d kill himself all over again.
January 20 – February 18
You buy one of McGregor’s ‘fuck you’ suits, confirming your status as an absolute lad.
February 19 – March 20
You get marked as spam.
We Talk To Ireland's First Ever Lottery Winner
We Talk To Ireland's First Ever Lottery WinnerPosted by Waterford Whispers News on Wednesday, 17 October 2018