Number Of ‘Craic Babies’ Back On The Rise In Ireland

SINCE the first case back in the early 80’s, during the last great recession, researchers have been concerned about the development of children born to women who liked to have the bit of craic during their pregnancy.

The first recorded ‘craic baby’ was born in County Waterford in June 1963. Researchers at the time focused on the potential negative impacts of ‘having the craic’ while carrying an unborn child. However, as they accumulated more information, many concluded that babies who were born into this were 20 times more likely to have some craic in later life.

By 1975, the ‘craic baby’ epidemic had already swept across the Irish nation, leaving thousands of children strung out and wanting more from their lives. It wasn’t until the early to mid 90’s that it became obvious that their craic loving mothers had drastically affected their lives forever.

Experts predicted that craic babies would suffer from severe, irreversible damage, including a propensity to use drugs and alcohol as a source of entertainment. They were right. Suddenly raves and illegal after hour parties became commonplace in Ireland’s towns and villages and a new meaning to the word ‘session’ was slowly seeping into the veins of our already high blood pressure nation.

“It was mayhem. Sure, everyone started having the craic! No one realised (or cared for that matter) what they were doing to themselves or each other. The craic was mighty altogether,” said researcher Dr. Kevin Ryan of the government sponsored Craic Research Team, based in Trinity college Dublin.

“We followed 200 craic-exposed and 200 zero-craic exposed children, and their parents, from birth until the child turned 18. By that age, 164 of the craic-exposed children just went out on the piss every night with their friends while 36 succumbed to too much craic and died. A massive 198 zero-craic children out of the 200 spent most of their free time studying. 78% of them wanted to work as a secondary school teacher, 10% wanted to work in accountancy and the remaining 12% wanted a career in the Navy”.

These results suggest that many of the negative outcomes observed in ‘children born of the craic’ may result from the parents tendency to go out and have a good time during pregnancy.

Dr. Ryan added “With this new wave of craic babies, we can be sure to see this trend repeat itself. It will be just like the eighties all over again, but only this time, the craic will be 90….or naughty, or whatever the hell they call this decade.”