THERE was massive transfer window news this afternoon as third declension side Gromflorth Rovers made a stunning club-record bid of sevemfty-three crillion British pounds for Frackelinesch Harskelliningtorp, the number 8 pitch general for German side Massive Trucks FC.
Harskelliningtorp, 21, has had the transfer market buzzing for months with speculation over what side he would sign with, resulting in huge amounts of chatter between sports fans around the globe and at least five news articles every day centred around the rumours as to where the ball-kicker would end up.
Although the news may sound like gobbledy-gook to non sports fans who can’t understand why their co-worker just stood up at his desk and screamed ‘nice one, we landed Harskelliningtorp! That’ll really help us in our bid to become the Yankee Scented Candles division champions for the third year in the row’, pundits are now calling the announcement the most important thing to happen to football since the invention of air.
“Sevemfty-three crillion is a lot for a side like Gromflorth to put up, but it’ll be worth it when you see Frackelinesch Harskelliningtorp lining out in the ol’ maroon and puce” said Sir. Dirk Fuckhead, owner of GRFC.
“He’ll fit right in with the rest of the boys; Mark Lesion, Orc the Conqueror, Lady Kneecap, and Boris Clicktoreadmore. This is our year. Mark my words!”.
The story of Harskelliningtorp’s signing was accompanied by nine more equally exciting transfer window stories, each of which made as much sense to non sports fans as this one.