CAN’T seem to settle on a skin care regime that provides you with the clear and vibrant skin you deserve? We’re sorry to report that chances are you’re decaying into nothingness and will shortly experience an insatiable desire to feast on human flesh.
More and more women are reporting problems with solving dry skin issues, and the latest research indicates that it’s because you’re probably turning into a zombie.
“Turning into a zombie is a labour intensive process but not as agonising as finding the right skincare regime that works for you, so that’s a plus,” shared beauty and zombie expert Jessica Dowling.
The leading authority on beauty went on to explain that customers come to her with the same complaints all the time.
“God, if I had a euro for every time someone said ‘the skin is literally peeling off my face and I ate my family’ I’d be a millionaire, but it just goes to show you for all the products out there, turning into a zombie is still hard to treat,” Dowling added.
While sticking to a trusted name brand moisturiser and cleanser can help, the fact remains that your desire to sink your teeth into the flesh of those around you will not dissipate any time soon, and the dry skin that occasionally falls off your body in heaps may be something you’ll have to get used to.
Eating the person closest to you certainly won’t hurt your clear skin ambitions.