HAVING your laptop stolen can be heartbreaking for many reasons; it may contain beloved photographs of loved ones now gone, or years worth of academic or professional research that is impossible to replace, and useless to anyone but you.
But fear not, as any helpful soul will tell you as you lament the loss of your digitised life, you should have backed up your data so that you could retrieve it in the event of theft, fire, or system failure.
You may think ‘you should have backed it up’ is unhelpful advice, but once you get to grips with the following, it’s actually pretty foolproof:
1- Invent time travel
You’ll need to go back in time to before your laptop was stolen, so that you can back it up and therefore still have all your data after your laptop gets stolen in the future (or the past, depending on your point of view). With time travel currently existing only in the pages of science fiction right now, you’ve got a bit of work to do before you have the capacity to leap back in time… but we have every faith in you! Get cracking
2- Back up your data or prevent the theft
When you travel back in time, you have two options; back up your hard drive, like everyone told you that you should have done, or prevent the theft by not leaving your laptop or camera or whatever in your car or at home where it could be seen… wherever it got stolen from. Look, it’s like those helpful people say; you shouldn’t have left your window open on a hot day, or left your stuff in the car while you ran into a shop for two minutes. Now that you’re back in time, you get the chance to not do those things! It’s so simple, we’re not sure why you’re still broken hearted about loosing two years worth of thesis research. Stop your crying!
3- Remember to back up regularly!
In future, remember to religiously back up all your stuff on a daily basis! Set aside an hour a day to back up to an external hard drive, then upload all this to the cloud, then download from the cloud to another external hard drive, and keep this going until you have dozens of copies of everything. Then back it all up again. If you don’t do this, then don’t come whining to us when someone breaks into your house and steals all your stuff. You should have backed it up! This is all your fault!