Picking The Right Gun To Celebrate The 4th Of July With

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IT can be the trickiest of dilemmas for any right minded American citizen seeking to participate in the joyous 4th of July celebrations.

Shotgun, automatic rifle or handgun? What says ‘Happy Independence Day everyone’ the best? Well, WWN might not have the definitive answer but we’re definitely here to help:

This baby can be bought at a gun show in Indiana and taken over the border into Chicago, Illinois in no time, primed to help you America-the-fuck out of your 4th of July. And don’t worry about the distinctive sound firing one of these 9mm bad boys makes; with fireworks going off all around you, no one will be none the wiser to you contributing to some freedom by taking someone’s limb and/or life away.

Freedom rating: 2 of out 5 God Bless Americas.

Pow! Make a statement no one can deny. We’d love to see someone’s reaction, especially if they’re a minority, when they try telling you that slinging a shotgun over your shoulder and exercising your rights is making them feel a little uncomfortable. Sorry buddy, but there ain’t nothing wrong with a bit of freedom backed up by some shotgun action and increasingly aggressive shouting.

Freedom rating: 3 out of 4 blanket internment of Japanese-Americans during World War II.

This automatic oughta tick all the boxes you just shot the shit out of! Fuck yeah, look at that guy. Some amazing American engineering behind this sucker. We’d like to see your old teacher tell you that you can’t make an impromptu visit to the old school now!

Freedom rating: 7 out of 7 secret carpet bombings of Laos during the Vietnam War.

Kick back and relax thinking about how the founding fathers founded some shit. It’s easy to do when you have this bad boy in your capable hands. Not even the voices in your head will disagree when we say this gun really brings out the blue in your eyes. Is this a bazooka and therefore not a gun? Don’t you worry your pretty little head about it, now let’s go intimidate some people we disagree with.

Freedom rating: 4 out of 5 there were no WMDs found in Iraq.

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