How Long You Should Wait Before Texting Back & Other Dating Tips

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A SOURCE of great bother and worry in the 21st century; dating and the culture surrounding it has and will continue to change rapidly as people seek out connections and meaningful relationships with other human beings.

Despite the proliferation of dating apps and endless articles purporting to have unlocked the key to the dating game, many people find the experience unrewarding and hard to figure out.

This is where the WWN Investigative Team’s lead reporter, Paddy Brown steps in. Our crack team of reporters are famous for their groundbreaking investigations and Paddy descended on the dating scene in Waterford in a bid to master the art form and give WWN’s readers the best tips for dating:

No matches

17 unanswered emails to Tinder’s customer service still hasn’t gotten to the bottom of an odd glitch which left us with no matches, despite swiping right on a number of men and women.

Still no matches

Tinder has obviously been exposed to some virus, I’m guessing Russian hackers or something, which makes it impossible for a good looking guy like me from getting matches. Modern technology, huh.

Drunk dialing your ex

Dating is mistakenly perceived as something you pursue with new people you’ve only just met at a bar, or through a malfunctioning dating app, which were it working, would obviously result in hundreds of matches.

The optimum time to rekindle things with your ex is usually between the hours of midnight and 4am, however, I can’t confirm how successful this method is as I think she’s after switching from Three to Vodafone since I last talked to her, and it’s just going straight voicemail and texts don’t seem to be delivering.

Playing it cool

Often misinterpreted as waiting it out and refusing to respond to texts, Whatsapp messages and Snaps, but playing it cool in the arena of 21st century dating actually means just being upfront about things.

Did you just receive a brief Whatsapp message in the last few minutes? It’s important to play it cool by writing paragraph after paragraph back within minutes, making sure to leave no emojis unused. Frequency is key. Thought of something else to say before they’ve had the chance to reply? Don’t wait around. Let them know what’s on your mind.

Pay for the meal

When out on a first date, it’s important to show your generous side and offer to pick up the tab. My ex’s phone is still on the blink, and that Tinder glitch STILL isn’t fixed so while I’m not sure how much the going rate for a decent meal is in Waterford these days, I’d say you’ll have things covered with €300, easy.

Drown your sorrows

If things are going your way, which isn’t the case with me, as malfunctioning technology just hasn’t been on my side unfortunately, but, if things aren’t going your way it might be an idea to have a few pints to yourself until you get merry and forget you’re going to die alone.

Nice tits

It is advised that once you have reached, let’s say 8 pints, it may be time to seek out the nearest body to you and communicate the fact you have so much love to give, and simply want to love and be loved in return, or a simpler way of putting it; ‘Nice tits’.

Apply ice to the affected area

Some women just can’t take a compliment.

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