“We Don’t Know What We’re Doing”

“WE DON’T know what we’re doing” – the response British Prime Minister Theresa May gave as an answer to all 146 questions EU leaders and officials asked at the opening negotiations on Brexit earlier this afternoon.

Seemingly stuck on repeat, a placid looking PM May simply repeated the admission as an answer to all and any queries relating to any possible facet of negotiating going forward.

Sources confirmed that the soon-to-be former Conservative leader appeared an attentive and active listener as EU leaders made their case, with May only dropping eye contact when she consulted an A4 page which had ‘we don’t know what we’re doing’ emblazoned on it in comic sans.

As leaders offered condolences over the recent tragedy in Grenfell Towers, May consulted her Brexit minister David Davis briefly before once again confirming “we don’t know what we’re doing”.

While May’s performance at the opening of negotiations will do little to instill any confidence in the British public, EU leaders are said to ecstatic with the progress made at the meeting.

“It’s the first time I’ve spoken to her in almost 9 months when she hasn’t just repeated ‘strong and stable’ or ‘Brexit means Brexit’, this is marvelous progress,” German Chancellor Angela Merkel confirmed to WWN.