WHILE the groom-to-be is away with his pals on ‘one last rip’ before the big day, it’s time for the bride and her mates to let their hair down and hit the town! Stuck for ideas for your upcoming hen? Stick with us, we’ll see you right:
1) Funny accesories
How will people know you’re on a hen night if you’re not all dressed the same? T-shirts with funny names, sashes, feather things… these are all essential accoutrements if you want people to know you’re a bunch of sassy girls out for some sassy fun, and not just girls out for fun.
2) Repeal jerseys
Look, just cos you’re a bunch of young ones out for a night on the tear doesn’t mean you can’t let the State know that they need to take their hands off your ovaries. Besides, black jerseys will really help make your pink ‘bridesmaid’ sash pop.
3) Protect the herd
You’re girls, you’re out for a good time, you’re wearing your best outfits… so needless to say, you’re targets for every low-life date rapist piece of shit that shares your air. Be sure to keep an eye on anyone preying on your pals. This may be your last night as a free woman, but it isn’t your last night as a woman.
At all times. For no reason. Just yell your faces off. Everything is better at high volume. It’s not like you don’t have plenty to scream about. Fuck the wage gap. Fuck the patriarchy.
5) Get ready for the shame
You’re going to be hungover; that’s a fact. You’re going to have the fear; goes with the territory. But the shame that’ll be heaped on you, for going out as a group and being ‘all laddish’, maybe getting the ride, maybe not waking up in your own bed… there’s a world of shame waiting on you the next day. If, of course, you decide to pay that shit any heed whatsoever.