Cabinet Reshuffle: Who’s In Position Now To Do Next To Nothing?

NEWLY installed as Taoiseach, Leo Varadkar, sought to fill vacant cabinet positions and put Ireland on track to become, stay or evolve into the greatest little country in the world.

Getting the right personnel into the necessary positions can always be a tough call for a leader as they seek to consolidate their power and quell any discontent, and Taoiseach Varadkar is no different.

But, after all the speculation, just who is in position in his cabinet to do next to nothing as the ineffectual ‘confidence and supply’ arrangement with Fianna Fáil is still in place?

Minister for Finance

Pascal Donohoe is now in charge of Finance as well as Public Expenditure. The Dublin TD will be given free reign to strictly adhere to a number of conditions imposed upon the Irish economy by the EU and the ECB.

If Donohoe can build on the work done by Michael Noonan, he could well be at the centre of the battle to ensure Ireland doesn’t receive €13 billion in back taxes owed by Apple. Worryingly for a Minister of Finance, Donohoe is not a former teacher, doubts remain over whether or not a person who studied Politics and Economics in college can handle numbers and figures.

While the hours will be long and Ireland is still comically broke, it is understood Donohoe is under no obligation to actually get anything done.

Minister for Health

Simon Harris remains installed as the head of health. The Taoiseach seemed keen to keep a potential politic rival in a position that is very slowly killing him before our eyes.

Staring at another few years as Minister for Health, Harris could find his biggest struggle is finding new ways to say sorry for all the problems which persist in the HSE that show no sign of ever changing for the better.

While the hours will be long and the HSE is a clusterfuck of epic proportions, it is understood Harris is under no obligation to actually get anything done as the Taoiseach will privatise everything soon.

A Woman?

True to his liberal ways, Taoiseach Varadkar has named a woman to a position, in fact, upon closer inspection it is actually women, plural.

While the hours will be long, it is understood woman/women is under no obligation to actually get anything done.

Minister for Foreign Affairs

Now deputy leader of Fine Gael to boot, Simon Coveney has been handed the key portfolio of Foreign Affiars with special responsibility for Brexit Will Be The Death Of Us All, Build Your Nuclear Proof Bunkers Now.

Coveney’s key task here will be to put his hand up at EU meetings and remind everyone Ireland exists.

While the hours will be long and Ireland will need a bullet proof strategy for a post-Brexit EU, it is understood Coveney is under no obligation to actually get anything done.

Minister for Justice

Charlie Flanagan has been handed what many will view at the toughest portfolio there is, and senior figures in An Garda Síochána have already pinned a dead rat to his door, and written a threatening letter in blood.

While the hours will be long and the public’s appetite for a progressive government that can achieve things for the betterment of Irish society as a whole, it is understood Flanagan is under no obligation to actually get anything done.