WWN Guide To Dumping Your Rubbish In Your Neighbour’s Bin

CASH a little tight at the moment? You can always find ways to save money around the house by cutting down on your heating during the summer, only buying food you know you’re going to eat rather than waste, and of course by dumping your household waste in one of your neighbour’s wheelie bins so that you don’t get charged for collection.

It may seem like a complicated thing to do, but it’s remarkably easy if you follow these steps:

1) Have no shame whatsoever

You don’t want to be dragging bin bags for miles, so you’re going to need to dump them in the bins of one of your closest neighbours; the people that you see every day, the people who you make small talk with when you’re out doing your lawn. In order to ensure that they pay for your waste collection instead of you, you’re going to need to have zero shame whatsoever; you need to be able to look them in the eye as they give out the next day about ‘some cunt dumping his rubbish in my bin’ and be all like ‘yeah, lot of that going around I hear’.

2) Choose your dumping time carefully

When your neighbours are asleep? After they’ve gone to work? Timing is essential for dumping; remember, some other neighbours might spot you and rat you out! Best bet is to just wait for the bin lorry to nearly be at the door and then run out with your rubbish for them. “Two more for you here, lads”, you can say. What, you think the bin-men know each customer by sight? Come on, now.

3) Spread it around

Don’t just always throw in one neighbour’s bin; share the love around! Much less likely to arouse suspicion that way. If you have enough neighbours, then you probably don’t need to use the same bin twice in a month. Of course if you’re caught, they’ll all hate you, but if you’re the kind of person who dumps rubbish in someone else’s bin then there’s a possibility that they already hate you anyway.