3 Big Romantic Gestures To Try When You Know She’s Probably Leaving You
IS YOUR partner growing distant and using subtle hints like “I’m fucking done, this is over, I can’t believe I ever went out with you in the first place” in an effort to pave the way for the end of your relationship?
Don’t sweat it, WWN is on hand to help guide you through some awful and desperate last ditch attempts at averting the inevitable.
It’s important to lose all perspective on the situation and just embrace the fact you will regret every action you take and will no doubt feel skin crawling embarrassment once the dust has settled on this train wreck of a soon-to-be former relationship.
1) Max out the credit card with a surprise trip to Disneyland Paris
Being surrounded by jovial people dressed in costumes is the very thing you need to in order to remind your girlfriend you’re the type of person to land yourself in €6,000 of credit card debt on a holiday just because you can’t be arsed finding another woman to love you. It won’t change her mind about anything, but she’ll respect the romantic intent and how desperate you are. Kidnapping the entire cast of her favourite movie Beauty and the Beast and have them act out the movie in its entirety in your hotel room is also an option.
2) Give her one of your kidneys
Even if she doesn’t require a kidney transplant. It’s a bold statement of how committed you are to her. It doesn’t get much more romantic than ‘hey, I love you so much I just carried out an impromptu kidney transplant on myself. It’s in the fridge on ice if you ever happen to need it in the future’. She’s definitely leaving, but still, it is a beautifully romantic, and surprisingly bloody gesture. You’ve lost a lot of blood actually. Get yourself to A&E. You may be thinking ‘why stop at just one organ’ and you’d be right, but first, grab a little a shut eye in hospital.
3) Cling onto her leg and shout ‘please don’t go’ while sobbing
If in doubt, it’s always good to fall back on a classic. Nothing says ‘hey, we can be stronger than ever if we just give this one more shot’ than disregarding any hint of dignity you may have previously had. Some people have opted to carry out this so-called nuclear option while handing over a box of puppies which they have hand-cuffed themselves too.