HAVE you made a balls of your exams in college this year? Or are you in the middle of making a balls of your exams? Or are you indeed incredibly confident of making a balls of things in your upcoming exams?
Fret not, while many people will claim it’s the end of the world that’s not the case. In fact, if one of the questions on their exams was ‘is this the end of the world?’ they will have failed too, the idiots.
It is in times of turmoil like this that it is important to seek out hopeful stories from those who lead the way in the world; famous people.
If a famous person can fail exams after fucking up on an epic scale just like you’re set to do, why can’t you go on to huge success just like these famous people below:
College exams? The lad failed Leaving Cert ordinary English, never mind college. But he persisted, and after taking the Leaving Cert again William triumphed. He would go on to fail exams in college too, however, after hours in the library working hard he discovered shine, mine, line, fine, benign, refine, dine and nine all rhymed and the rest is history.
Before receiving her PHD in Fierce studies, Beyoncé struggled with passing exams. Ag-science just wasn’t for her. Have you considered a change in course? You can find solace in her story of going on to being hugely successful. Could you become one of the most recognisable names in the world? Of course not, but this is an aspirational kind of list, so we’ve got to lay off shitting on you too much so yeah, dream big or whatever.
An artist just like Beyoncé. Shite at art though, however, that didn’t stop him from achieving other things outside of his university education. There may be a temptation to give in to the negative and dwell on these things, but Adolf didn’t, and you can take heart from that.
Fuck yeah! That’s right, just pack it all in and move to Hollywood. What’s the point in dwelling on where you went wrong in the academic year when you can just star in the next Fast and the Furious Movie. It’s not rocket science, which is just as well because Statham finished bottom on his class in Aerospace Engineering.
With no opposable thumbs the RTÉ television legend was hardly in a position to write reams of bullshit as part of his Commerce course. He wasn’t fucking useless in college. But what’s for you won’t pass you as they say, and Bosco went on to have a hugely successful career which involved having people stuff their hand up him on a daily basis. There’s no reason why you can’t pursue exactly the same type of things. What’s that we hear you say? You’re far too young to remember Bosco, in fact you weren’t even born when the show original show came to an end in 1987? How are you meant to relate? Don’t worry Bosco was made redundant at a time of high levels of youth unemployment, similar to today’s economic climate. NOTE: this is not an endorsement of charging people money to put their fists in your behind.
While technically not a famous person, your uncle Michael wasn’t always the success he is now today. He failed one or two exams in his time. Wait, sorry, what? Oh, your uncle Michael races ducks as part of an underground illegal duck racing syndicate? But… is he making money?
Your one on Instagram being paid to endorse Fit Tea
I know it seems crazy now, but you could become a Fit Tea endorser on Instragram too. BELIEVE!