A SPOKESPERSON for Fine Gael has confirmed that former party leader Enda Kenny was thrown from the back of an Irish army helicopter as it hovered over the Irish Sea in the early hours of this morning, just hours after he stepped down as party leader.
Kenny was finally stripped of his title of FG party chief following a 15-year reign of terror, leading to huge celebrations across the country.
However, news that the Mayo native had been dumped in the sea was met with anger from many quarters, who had wished to see Kenny and give him a piece of their mind over his handling of matters during his term.
Party representatives defended the action, claiming that they were acting in accordance with Fine Gael custom, adding that they didn’t want to leave any trace of Kenny that could lead to worship from radical factions around the country.
“There’s a lot of sick people in this country that would love if we had left Enda just walking around, so they could tell him he did ‘a great job'” said a FG spokesman.
“This way, he has no shrine, he has no monument, his memory will soon be resting with him in the very sea that he sent so many of our people across”.
Meanwhile, the removal of Kenny has led to a violent power struggle within Fine Gael, with many fearing that the party has become more dangerous than ever before.