You’ve Heard Of Doggy Style, Now Prepare For Cat Style!

IT’S THE SEX position set to revolutionise the sex lives of millions of people around the world, ‘cat style’ the latest evolution in sexual intercourse has already made a huge impact.

Widely spoken about online, transforming the singles scene in major cities across the world and positively impacting long term relationships, you should be hearing about cat style in Irish publications as soon as 2022, but WWN is ahead of the curve yet again in bringing you all the necessary details. The low down. And boy do you get low down when trying cat style.

Cat style is not found in any editions of the Kama Sutra and originated in the American state of Ohio, created by married couple of 23 years Ellen and Robert Smith.

“We were sick of the usual, the everyday, the mundane,” explained Robert.

“We finally cracked the missionary position after years of trying. We mastered it by our 2,349th attempt, it was time to move on,” shared Ellen.

Unlike ‘doggy style’, the highly active sexual position which sees the male penetrate the female from behind as she is on her hands and knees, cat style is a less arduous affair.

“Cat style begins the moment we come home from work,” Ellen said, elaborating on just what is involved in the position, which is now practiced by as many as 4,000,000 people in the US alone.

“Like doggy style utilises the way dogs copulate and behave generally, cat style relies of a cat. I can only get off now using the cat style position”.

Ellen and Robert demonstrated for WWN just want is entailed as they went to sit on opposite couches in their living room, and completely ignored each other.

“We sit far away from one another, ignoring one another while quietly seething and plotting each other’s death in much the same way a normal pet cat does in the company of their owner,” Robert explained.

“We then spend the evening treating each other like a cat would treat us, like the shit on their paw. It’s exhilarating, seeing how much Robert resents me and letting him know how much I resent him…orgasmic bliss,” confided Ellen.

“What the fuck are you telling them now, our business is our business, no one else’s,” Robert said, while mimicking the hiss of a cat, prompting Ellen to shake with pleasure.

Cat style workshops will be available in Irish community centres throughout the summer, replacing the previous relationship counselling courses which were suffering from poor attendance.