Kids These Days Have It Too Easy, Says Generation Who Destroyed Economy

“LOOK at them, hanging around in the middle of the day on their phones, instead of going out and getting jobs,” groused Malachy McMarron, a 60-year-old Waterford man who has voted for Fianna Fáil since the late seventies, referring to a group of unemployed youths.

“When I was their age, I wasn’t on the dole. I went out and got a job, and saved up until some lad from the local bank that my Dad played golf with moved enough numbers around so that I could qualify for a mortgage. I didn’t sit around staring at the walls like today’s lot. Bloody moochers!”

McMarron’s statements were echoed by a large number of his peers, who consider today’s generation of millennials to be ‘soft’, and ‘lazy’, according to a new survey.

The research has also shown that large numbers of older people hold ‘kids today’ responsible for the current rate of unemployment, the housing crisis, immigration and numerous other issues that they themselves either allowed to happen or directly caused.

“Snowflakes, the lot of them,” repeated McMarron, showcasing his ability to have an opinion on everything.

“If it was up to me, I’d ship the whole lot off to Australia. Well, they’re all kinda going to Australia anyways, but you know what I mean”.