IT’S impossible to go through life without pledging allegiance to a range of sports teams; only a fool would try. For every sport that exists, be it rugby, soccer, American football… you have to support one team and only one team.
But with so many teams to choose from, how can you be sure that you’re picking the one that will give you the most in return? Remember, you’ll be counting on your choice to carry you through awkward small-talk conversations with taxi drivers and co-workers for the rest of your life. Here’s a few pointers…
1) Be 6 years old
You might think that choosing a football team to support might take several years of watching the league to find the team with the style of play you prefer, or players that excite you. But no, the best way to find the right team for you is simply to be a 6-year-old child.
At 6, you don’t even have to choose a team to support. If you have older siblings, you’ll automatically inherit their team to support by virtue of their old jerseys not fitting them any more. You’ll also find yourself gravitating towards whatever team the rest of the kids in your class or neighbourhood support. You think you’re going to be the lone Everton fan in an estate full of Chelsea supporters? Hope you enjoy having no mates, kid!
All told, being 6 is the best way to find the perfect football team to follow diligently, maybe even joylessly for the rest of your natural life. Remember, the team you support from childhood must be the team you support throughout your life; you can’t claim that a change in playing style, management, personnel or ethics caused you to stop supporting your team. You’ll just look like you’re glomming on to whatever team is top of the league. Football isn’t religion, people! You can’t just change teams halfway through!
2) That’s all.