5 Excuses For Why You Didn’t Watch That Shit Show Your Friend Keeps Recommending

NETFLIX: a great source of wonderful TV shows, spellbinding documentaries and blockbuster movies… and also home to hours of unwatchable shite that for some reason one of your mates keeps insisting that you ‘must watch’.

You’re running out of excuses as to why you haven’t found 23 hours to sit through two seasons of what your pal with dreadful taste keeps calling ‘the best show ever’, so before you take drastic measures and tell the truth about how he’s steered you wrong before and you don’t have the time to waste on his terrible suggestions, you may try the following excuses:

1) I was tiger kidnapped

Look, I sat down last night with the wife to watch that show, but then an armed gang raided the house. Tied up the missus, drove me round to ATMs. Cleaned us out, pure nightmare. I’ll get to your show tonight.

2) The girl from The Ring came out me telly

Shit, I didn’t get a chance to watch that yet. I watched this creepy video seven days ago, so when I went to watch Netflix last night your one Samara came out the telly, chased me round the house all night.

3) I ate the remote control

Like, I just started to nibble at the corner of it, but then before I knew it, I just had the whole fucking thing eaten.

4) I was doing that thing David Carradine did

With the belt in the wardrobe and the wanking. I only meant to be at it for like ten minutes but sure time flies when your starving your brain of oxygen while pulling the fuck out of yourself.

5) I realised I’d seen it before

I know I said I hadn’t seen it, but when I sat down I realised I had. Yep. Loved that bit in the middle there. Great acting from himself. I absolutely didn’t just look up the plot on Wikipedia. Watched every second of it.