Daddy Pig Files For Divorce

Share
SHARES

DADDY Pig, the long-suffering patriarch of a family of talking pigs, has opened up to WWN about the tense circumstances that has led to him filing for a divorce from his wife of 6 years this week, and where he sees his life going from here.

Born Percington Pig, the 30-year-old architect spoke tearfully about how his family spent the last number of years mercilessly ridiculing his weight, appearance, and inability to run long distances or successfully navigate his way to a picnic spot.

Such indignities have led to marital tensions between Mr. Pig and his wife Amanda Pig, AKA Mummy Pig, with the couple growing more and more distant from each other under the weight of frantic work schedules and the demands of their two small children.

Having listened to quite enough insults about his great big tummy, Daddy Pig snapped this week and stormed out of the family home, located on the top of a very steep hill, slamming the doors and screaming ‘I’ll see you in court, Mummy Pig’.

“I’m a man, God damn it, I’m a man!” sobbed Daddy Pig, eating barbecued corn on the cob.

“I deserve some sort of respect, and not to be shamed by my wife at every opportunity. Oh, the stories I could tell you about that woman! Did you know she tried to eat George when he was born? But do I throw that in her face whenever she messes up? No, I don’t. But she has no qualms about bringing my every failing up at any given moment. Sick of this shit, I am”.

Mr. Pig has also made it clear that he has no intention of filing for any form of custody of his two kids.

Comments ( 1 )
Share what you think.
Share