US Executioner Delighted With Bit Of Overtime

AN Arkansas executioner has expressed great delight at the time-and-a-half boost to his wages he has been receiving lately, thanks to a recent uptick in state-appointed killings of death row inmates.

Charles Harrison, 45, admits that the day is long enough without having to put in overtime as well, but the extra money that hits his bank account at the end of the month is much-welcomed and allows him to take his family out for treats that they would otherwise have had to forgo.

The state of Arkansas has faced condemnation from human rights organisations around the world, following its decision to carry out 8 executions in 11 days due to the imminent expiry date on their stock of Midazolam, one of the key components in the lethal injection used to kill inmates.

Such was the urgency to use up their Midazolam and not to see it go to waste, the state carried out the first double-execution since 2000 yesterday, putting down Jack Jones and Marcel Williams, both sentenced to death for rapes and murders in horrific cases from the 90s.

Executioner Harrison admits that it was tough work getting through two executions in one day, but the overtime will mean he might be able to get himself a new barbeque.

“Y’know, some of these guys protest their innocence right up until the end… nobody listens, but it does delay the proceedings a bit,” said Harrison, getting some rest before his next shift.

“And all that means is that I’m standing there for a bit longer, watching the clock, counting up the overtime that’ll go into my account at the end of the month. If I get called in for the next 5 executions, I’ll easily be able to get that Smokemaster 5000 I’ve been eyeing up all year! Steak time!”

WWN has received an invite to Harrison’s barbeque as a gratuity for conducting this interview.