Relief As Everybody Stops Kung-Fu Fighting

FRESH hopes for peace have blossomed in the greater funky Chinatown area, after a decades-long, incredibly frightening kung-fu battle finally came to an end.

The battle, in which everybody took part, has been taking place since 1974 and was the subject of a popular song by Carl Douglas in the same year.

Described by eye-witnesses as a little bit frightening, key participants included Billy Chin and Sammy Chung, famed for their ability to not just chop people up, but chop them down as well.

Although no end was in sight for the embattled residents of funky Chinatown, the warring parties came together to forge a new peace, putting aside their expert timing in favour of a life free from kicks to the face.

“Those cats were fast as lightening, except when it came to calling a truce,” said one eye-witness to the mass brawl in which 40,876 people were killed by hand-strikes to the face and neck.

“Hopefully, they’ll be able to put their differences aside and come together to forge a new and lasting peace for everyone. I mean, they have to be nearly 70 at this stage”.

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