5 Signs You May Be A Lightweight

UNSURE if your friends, family and colleagues are labelling you a complete and utter lightweight behind your back?

Such thoughts can plague the mind of any upstanding member of society, the doubt surrounding your lightweight status can seep into other areas of your life, affecting your performance at work, school or college.

WWN is on hand to provide you with 5 signs that could help you to definitively identify whether or not you are indeed a lightweight, and therefore a disgrace to yourself and all your loved ones.

1) Punched your friend in the face for no compelling reason. Then punched them again. And again. And again.

Fucking lightweight.

2) You’ve racially abused a taxi driver at least once in the last week

Fucking lightweight.

3) You’re on your second intervention this week

Fucking lightweight.

4) You’re slurring your words and sure it’s only 11am

Fucking lightweight.

5) Serving a heavy sentence for running someone over after a rake of pints

Fucking lightweight.

EDITOR’S NOTE: an earlier version of this article listed ‘waking up to find you’ve pissed the bed’. However, this is not a sign of being a lightweight, this can happen to anyone, even someone who only had the 9 drinks, 10 tops, at last year’s Christmas party. Therefore, accusations of lightweightedness are entirely unfounded and frankly irresponsible in the extreme.