How To Get Your Kid To Stop Talking Like Peppa Pig

PARENTS from all across Ireland have raised concerns about their toddler sons and daughters speaking in a clipped English accent that makes them sound like popular pre-school cartoon character Peppa Pig, leading a research group to develop measures to counter the phenomenon.

Families of kids aged between 2 and 5 from regions in Ireland that do not speak in anything resembling a proper, easy to understand accent have all reported their little ones talking like the rascally animated porker, with phrases such as ‘oh look’, ‘I don’t know’ and ‘you’re making a mess’ sounding particularly odd when being delivered by kids from Limerick or Cork.

With parents unsure as to why their kids are suddenly sounding like posh British people, a group of linguistic specialists have come forth with a theory that may help parents combat the outbreak before it becomes permanent.

“We noticed that kids who watch Peppa Pig all day are 100 times more likely to talk like Peppa Pig than kids who don’t,” said a spokesperson for the study.

“So say I’m a parent, right, and I plant my kid in front of Peppa on the TV for 8 hours a day while I do something else, that child will more often than not – sound like Peppa Pig. It’s really quite amazing, the way a child will talk like the person who they hear talking the most, even if that person is a 2D pig and not, say, their parents”.

Mums and Dads wishing to reverse the Peppa-fication of their kids have been advised to try a revolutionary new method called not sticking your kids in front of Peppa Pig for 8 hours a day, and maybe talking to them for a change.