Independent Review Of Gardaí Not Allowed To Blame The Government, Government Confirms

AN INDEPENDENT REVIEW of An Garda Síochána is said to be given free reign when it comes to identifying inefficiencies, poor performance and any illegality as long as it doesn’t relate in any way, shape or form to the government, the government has confirmed.

While the parameters of the review have yet to be defined, the government has stressed the independent review will be given carte blanche and will not be hindered by outside interference by the gardaí or the government.

“We are fully committed to this review and its independence,” a government spokesperson shared with WWN, “but obviously the review won’t be allowed level accusations at the repeated failure of successive governments to update resources, training and equipment for the force, because that would make us look like the real problem here”.

The government spokesperson added that the cabinet was enjoying the recent resurgence in the public’s suspicious attitude towards senior gardaí as it left politicians blameless.

“We couldn’t have planned this better ourselves, everyone is giving it the old ‘ah jaysus, typical guards’ and we’re getting away with pulling the arse out of the force and pretending like it can function properly afterwards”.

Opposition parties have also confirmed their satisfaction with the independence of the upcoming review.

“The review’s independence is scared, and must be preserved, however, once we spot some juicy stuff in there we’ll be exploiting it and bringing the whole thing down so we can be back in power,” explained a Fianna Fáil spokesperson.