“Would It Kill You To Throw Us Something Other Than Fucking Bread” Stephen’s Green Ducks Ask

DUCKS native to the St. Stephen’s Green area of Ireland, Europe have released a joint statement pleading with the general public to offer them something other than bread as a light snack.

“Seriously, would it kill you to throw us something other than fucking bread. We’re bloated t’fuck,” a portion of the statement reads.

With the sunny weather bringing more people to Dublin city centre armed with slice pans and a poor excuse for a throwing arm, ducks swimming around the waters of Stephen’s Green have decried the diet the public subjects them to.

“Fucking bread? Derek is gluten intolerant you ignorant pricks,” quacked one duck, pointing a wing at his poorly looking fellow duck, Derek, who suffers from several health issues.

Derek, like many ducks is said to be suffering the ill effects of consuming bread, which can lead to botulism, a disease that kill the city lake and pond dwellers.

The bread throwing portion of the public has long suffered under accusations of being irresponsible and unimaginative in their food selection for ducks, something the ducks quacked about to WWN.

“We’re not so different you or I,” Derek said, speaking from his beak, “I want to eat healthy food like diced lettuce and carrots, I’ll even have watermelon. I’m just devastated I don’t have an Instagram to upload my healthy food selfies to”.

Elsewhere, the Nation’s seagulls have confirmed they will be taking your ice cream and whatever other food happens to be in your hand.