IT’S FRIDAY! It’s the end of the week, and so many of us deserve that pint or 12, however, for some people out there it is becoming harder and harder to justify drinking from the early evening all the way into the wee small hours without being labeled an alcoholic.
Enter Waterford man Anthony Foggins, who was faced with this dilemma earlier today until inspiration struck and he realised he had the perfect excuse for going on the lash.
“You doubt yourself sometimes,” explained the novice alcoholic, “ya know; can I hide my alcohol dependency on the days there’s no compelling reason to drag someone to the pub with me but that’s when I copped it. Just sitting on the toilet at work, doing my 11.30am Friday shit, like clockwork, and I remembered we’re playing Wales tonight!” Foggins said punching the air with delight.
“Couldn’t give two fucks about the rugby, but that’ll make it easier to get a few of the lads out,” explained the man who wasn’t all that happy if he was being perfectly honest.
It was joy unconfined for Foggins as he realised he wouldn’t have to wait until Saturday or God forbid Sunday for some soccer match to provide the excuse for being on a bar stool, sipping pints. It’s a cold heart that wouldn’t join in Foggins’s happiness in realising the rare Friday night fixture took the pressures of finding an excuse to drink clean off his shoulders.
“I feel about 7 stone lighter after that, I won’t have to badger anyone too hard to convince them to head out, a few of the lads will want to watch the game at home by themselves considering the mess I made of myself last time out, but I’ll give them the ‘watch it on big screen’ bullshit routine and one or two of them will give in,” added Foggins.