We Schedule Patient Appointments 3 Hours Early For The Fucking Craic, Admits Hospital

HOSPITALS up and down the country have finally admitted to scheduling appointments for patients way earlier than needed, just for ‘shits and giggles’.

Many patients attending hospital for scans, check-ups or outpatient procedures are told to be there at 8am and subsequently left to sit in the waiting room for hours on end while doctors and nurses try to stifle their giggles as they walk past.

The curious practice, which heaps hours of unnecessary suffering and misery onto already-vulnerable people, is said to help hospital staff ‘chillax’ during the day, and keep their minds off the pressures of their stressful jobs.

“Look, see that lady out there in the waiting room? Her appointment was for 9 this morning, it’s gone past lunchtime now,” giggled one hospital manager, speaking exclusively to WWN.

“Oh, we could have given her an appointment for 3pm, instead of having her sit out there for six hours, but where’s the fun in that? I’m working an 18 hour day here, gimme something to laugh about”.

“And yeah, sometimes patients get wise to this and don’t turn up at the time on their appointment card… we just cancel those straight away. ‘Sorry love, your card says 8am, it’s 10am and you’ve missed your slot’… even if there was no chance they were getting seen for another 4 hours. You’d want to see the look on their faces!”