“Look, Honestly, We Don’t Really Care,” Rest Of UK Tells Northern Ireland

ENGLAND, SCOTLAND and Wales have informed Northern Ireland that while they appreciate the current political upheaval may seem to them as a big deal the rest of the UK frankly couldn’t care less, WWN has learned.

Citing ‘more important things’ the non-Northern Ireland part of the UK has indicated “look, honestly, we don’t really care”.

“That whole Peace Process thing was ages ago, you’re grand now so if you don’t mind, we’re just going to talk about Brexit again,” Scotland, Wales and England confirmed in a joint-statement.

An initial draft of the statement included several questions from England asking someone to remind them ‘what happened again in Northern Ireland, like I know what happened, but like, can I have a quick recap’.

However, this passage was removed as the rest of the UK felt it would give Northern Ireland the false impression that there was genuine interest in the political turmoil currently unfolding.

While many politicians in Northern Ireland have made overtures to Theresa May and her cabinet, in a bid to seek Westminster’s help in solving the current impasse, texts and emails sent have failed to receive a response.

“We’ve actually a lot to deal with, thanks. We’ll get back to you when we have some free time, but chances are we’ll forget about you,” the rest of the UK said, concluding its joint-statement.